Funny Scene from Winning Appeal

Mark helped me into the back of the car as the driver, Louis, held the door for us. Louis was my usual driver when I went to these things. He worked for my father’s office and was trained in security.
It was a short ride, and we were approaching the museum within minutes. I reached into my clutch bag and pulled out a mint, offering Mark one, and popping another into my mouth. After all, there was nothing more embarrassing than getting caught with bad breath. Remember that I said that, by the way.
“So, still up for the limo sex?” Mark joked.
I laughed in surprise, and accidentally sucked the mint into my throat, getting it lodged there. I started choking and making a gurgling sound, and Louis, who was also trained in CPR, immediately crossed three lanes of traffic, and illegally parked on a median in the middle of the Ben Franklin Parkway.
Mark was already attempting to apply the Heimlich Maneuver on me, but Louis was having none of it. It was his job to save the senator’s daughter from the killer Altoid, and no one would stop him. He dove out of the driver’s seat, flew around to the back, and hauled me out of car. Then he proceeded to stand behind me and squeeze my ribs so hard, that my feet left the ground.
Mark was out of the car in an instant. Unfortunately, the instant, in question, was the one where the mint became dislodged and flew out of my mouth, hitting him square in the eye like a torpedo. He cried out in pain and covered his face, staggering forward. Have I mentioned we were in the middle of the Ben Franklin Parkway? Horns blasted, and Louis, who was also trained to take a bullet if necessary, threw himself into traffic, grabbed Mark and tossed him onto the median, covering him with his own body.
All of this happened within seconds, but luckily, we were close enough to the museum that the waiting photographers, who had zoom lenses, were able to capture all of it for posterity. And the tabloids. And my brother.
Mark and I were in amazingly good shape considering that I had nearly choked, and probably had a few cracked ribs, and he had been thrown to the pavement and blinded in one eye. In an effort to reclaim some semblance of dignity, we got back into the car, and Louis proceeded to drive us to the museum as if nothing had happened. I was going to have to speak to my father about giving Louis a raise.
We arrived at the museum and entered the line of cars. A few minutes later, Mark was helping me out, with his good hand, and we were being escorted off to area where journalists and photographers were waiting.
“Ms. Pierce, are you injured? … Ms. Pierce, what was going on out there? … Ms. Pierce, is your driver a member of the Secret Service? …” And then …
“Who is this handsome man escorting you, Beth?” That one stopped me in my tracks. I turned and saw a female reporter, with a spray tan in a shade of Oompa Loompa orange, and hair the color of a brass doorknob, giving Mark a flirtatious look. Fucking tabloid journalist.
“This Mark Patterson, a friend and colleague,” I muttered and smiled weakly.
“So Mark, are you and Beth an item?” asked someone off to our left. I glanced over and saw it was a guy with black hair, slicked down with more oil than in Venezuela, and wearing more bling than in the Tower of London. He had a camera and a smarmy smile. Fucking paparazzo.
“Like she said, we’re friends and colleagues. I couldn’t let such a lovely lady attend a party alone. Nobody would pay attention to the celebrities,” Mark said suavely and the journalists all gave appreciative chuckles.
Wow. This man had just been wounded by missile, plucked from traffic and crushed beneath a six foot five inch, two hundred and eighty pound chauffer. He had abrasions on his palms and his eye was starting to swell. Yet there he was, cracking jokes, grace under pressure. Fucking amazing.

4 thoughts on “Funny Scene from Winning Appeal

  1. samanthamicallef says:

    I love it! I mean.. poor Mark and Beth though, the only thing I’d change is to get rid of the “Have I mentioned we were on the…?” Beth kind of stopped the action there and asked the reader a question that didnt need to be asked
    But I loved this scene and I cant wait for their novel!

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