The Author Bio

So, I was about to do this talk radio show, and I was getting ready by checking out the interviews other authors have done, when I noticed their author bios. They all had one thing in common; they were all warm and personable! My bio, in contrast, read like a poster on the wall at the D.M.V.

Apparently, everyone else is a “book lover” and lives with a cuddly animal. I have a “humorous cast of characters” and have held various rankings. I sound about as fun as a proctology exam. The problem is, I don’t collect lip gloss. I collect empty wine bottles. And the only thing fuzzy in my apartment is a container of yogurt from 1989. But surely there must be something I could say that would capture the real me?  This is what I came up with:

N.M. Silber is a lawyer, nerd girl, conspiracy theorist, wine whisperer and all-around good egg. She lives in an overpriced studio apartment with the dust bunnies under her bed and no regrets. She writes books that have sex, banter and a little mystery in them. People apparently like them.

I thought about tossing in that I can do the Electric Slide and I know all the words every Duran Duran song ever recorded, but I was afraid I would date myself too much. Adding that I was the president of the Nancy Drew fan club might have been cool. Except that I was in college at the time. Do you think anyone would be impressed that I’m STD free? I could add that.

Here’s a question, does anybody actually read the author bio? Maybe I could just use someone else’s, like Hemingway’s. I wonder if anyone would notice.

5 thoughts on “The Author Bio

  1. drbinderust says:

    I do, Nadine – usually, just to see how the author wishes to present her/himself to the world.

    To me, the best ones are usually the hilariously outrageous ones that say the author was raised by wolves or bridge trolls, and mention some of the more ridiculous jobs held while trying to get a writing career going (i.e., “Author was Night Manager at Taco Bell when inspiration for her/his first book hit….”)

    • NMSilber says:

      Well, I was also thinking of adding:
      N.M. Silber began writing in utero and perfected her craft in the Pennsylvania prison system. She is a Penny Saver Bestselling Author and a Top 400 Author in the Mongolian Family Saga Self-help fiction written on a Tuesday during Lent category on Amazon.

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