Okay, that’s it! If you are planning to take a train in any major city, especially the one I live in, there are some basic rules you need to obey.
- Deodorant is not optional!
- Phone calls should be not audible twenty seats away. Nobody cares that your boyfriend is banging Tawanna!
- Turn down the freaking volume on your iPod! If I can hear your entire Taylor Swift playlist, you are missing the point of ear buds.
- You only get one seat! Man spread during shorts season should be a felony.
- If your bag didn’t buy a ticket, it doesn’t get a seat of it’s own.
- Sitting directly next to a person when there are ten empty seats around her is creepy.
- Vomiting on a crowded subway is an act of aggression.
- There is no need to get up before the train actually stops, and when it does, you are likely going to ….. crash into that guy who was unlucky enough to have to sit by the door. Sigh.
- You don’t need to push your way onboard. The train is very unlikely to leave while passengers are still getting off.
- Read the map and train schedule before you embark. It’s not a random kind of thing.
AND … here’s my stop. Have a nice day.