So, I was on Pinterest the other day, which incidentally is like Crack for people with OCD, (like me), and I saw a pin that would make a cool addition to my “Bucket List” board. But at that moment, it suddenly dawned on me that there are lots of other things that I should be aspiring to do rather than “Walking behind a waterfall.”
I have reached that time in my life, (somewhere between 39 and death), where I have finally learned to like myself, thick thighs and all. Moreover, I have fully embraced the fact that while I should (and do) try to be a decent human being, I don’t have to actually impress anyone. If they don’t like me just as I am, the chances are pretty much nonexistent that I’m going to change, so they might as well shove off. Or shove something. So, isn’t it time that I did something with that? Thus, I give you … My New Bucket List.
Before I die, I would like to …
- Try on a bathing suit that’s more “Victoria’s Secret” than “Victorian England.”
- Take the last Tic Tac for myself.
- Wear whatever I feel like wearing to go out, even if I look like a clown. With no bra.
- Find a reason to yell, “You go, girl!”
- Listen to my 80’s music at full blast in the car with the windows open. And sing.
- Quote lines from The Blues Brothers at a cocktail party when I can’t come up with small talk.
- Tell pretentious people that I’m a smut peddler when they ask me what I do.
- Go somewhere I want to, even if I don’t have anyone to go with. And not worry that I look like I have no friends. Or possibly a contagious disease.
- Dance like nobody is watching. Without injuring myself.
- Be confident enough not to fear rejection or failure.
Walking behind a waterfall would probably be cool too though.