My “New” Bucket List

So, I was on Pinterest the other day, which incidentally is like Crack for people with OCD, (like me), and I saw a pin that would make a cool addition to my “Bucket List” board. But at that moment, it suddenly dawned on me that there are lots of other things that I should be aspiring to do rather than “Walking behind a waterfall.”

I have reached that time in my life, (somewhere between 39 and death), where I have finally learned to like myself, thick thighs and all.  Moreover, I have fully embraced the fact that while I should (and do) try to be a decent human being, I don’t have to actually impress anyone.  If they don’t like me just as I am, the chances are pretty much nonexistent that I’m going to change, so they might as well shove off.  Or shove something. So, isn’t it time that I did something with that? Thus, I give you … My New Bucket List.

Before I die, I would like to …

  1. Try on a bathing suit that’s more “Victoria’s Secret” than “Victorian England.”
  2. Take the last Tic Tac for myself.
  3. Wear whatever I feel like wearing to go out, even if I look like a clown.  With no bra.
  4. Find a reason to yell, “You go, girl!”
  5. Listen to my 80’s music at full blast in the car with the windows open. And sing.
  6. Quote lines from The Blues Brothers at a cocktail party when I can’t come up with small talk.
  7. Tell pretentious people that I’m a smut peddler when they ask me what I do.
  8. Go somewhere I want to, even if I don’t have anyone to go with. And not worry that I look like I have no friends. Or possibly a contagious disease.
  9. Dance like nobody is watching. Without injuring myself.
  10. Be confident enough not to fear rejection or failure.

Walking behind a waterfall would probably be cool too though.

2 thoughts on “My “New” Bucket List

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